Life can be overwhelming at times, and we all experience moments when stress, anxiety, or frustration threaten to take over. Whether you’re dealing with work pressure, relationship challenges, or unexpected stressors in your daily routine, it’s essential to have effective methods to calm down quickly. Fortunately, these skills can be taught!
Here are several scientifically backed strategies that can help you regain control and soothe your nervous system in moments of distress. They come from a psychological framework called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). DBT is a popular form of therapy, one which prioritises emotional regulation . You’ll notice that these techniques are body-based. The mind-body connection is an important element of my practice, and it’s helpful because when you’re overwhelmed, the quickest way to make a change is often through your body.
In this article, we’ll explore how to calm down fast with proven techniques you can practice anytime.
1) Put a Cold Pack on Your Face for 30 Seconds
One of the quickest ways to calm yourself down is by using cold exposure. The sensation of cold can stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in regulating your body’s relaxation response. By applying a cold pack to your face for 30 seconds, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to slow your heart rate and relax your muscles.
How to do it
This technique can be particularly effective during moments of high stress or anxiety when you need immediate relief.
2) Intense Exercise
As I’m sure you already know, exercise is a powerful stress reliever. Many of us may struggle to keep a regular routine but that doesn’t stop you from using exercise as a quick way to calm down!
Intense physical activity, such as going for a brisk walk, a short jog, or doing a few minutes of jumping jacks, can help release endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. It also reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, helping you feel calmer and more grounded.
How to do it:
Exercise helps to shift your focus away from your stress and brings your body back into balance.
3) Go Outside: Fresh Air and Direct Sunlight
Sometimes, all it takes to calm down is a change of environment. Stepping outside into fresh air and sunlight can work wonders for reducing stress. We’re fortunate here in South Africa to have almost year-long access to the sunlight. And even on those days when the Cape of Storms rears its head, getting natural light will benefit you.
Exposure to natural light boosts serotonin levels, while the fresh air helps clear your mind and rejuvenates your senses. This simple yet effective technique can be especially helpful if you feel confined or trapped in a stressful situation.
How to do it:
Being outside in nature can help you feel more connected and at ease, breaking the cycle of negative thinking that stress can often trigger. My favourite trick is to combine going outside and getting exercise by going for a quick walk around the block. As you calm down, you may even wish to do some mindfulness and engage all your senses in the environment around you.
4) Gently Cuddle a Baby or Pet
If you live with a pet or a baby or happen to be out with one, you may find that physical touch can provide immediate emotional relief. Interacting with animals or babies can help lower your heart rate and blood pressure, releasing oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which promotes feelings of comfort and relaxation. I also find that the need to be gentle with your pet or baby forces you to calm down. Cue hushed voices and cooing noises…
How to do it:
This technique taps into the healing power of connection and can significantly help you de-stress in a short amount of time.
5) Breathe Deeply into Your Belly
Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to calm your mind and body quickly. By practicing diaphragmatic breathing (breathing into your belly), you activate the body’s relaxation response and help reduce anxiety and tension.
How to do it:
This simple but powerful method can be done anywhere, at any time, and is a cornerstone of many stress-reduction courses, including the DBT programmes I run. Participants in DBT workshops often find themselves more aware of how they can use their bodies to calm their minds. With the power that comes from being able to face distressing situations calmly, they can respond more calmly and more effectively. This often gives them the confidence to engage in situations or discussions that felt scary or overwhelming. This has helped them to achieve success at work and to deepen close relationships.
6) Chew a Piece of Gum
You might not expect it but chewing gum can be an effective way to reduce stress and anxiety. Research suggests that the act of chewing increases blood flow to the brain and can help reduce cortisol levels, making you feel calmer and more focused.
How to do it:
The act of chewing can engage your brain and help shift your focus away from whatever is causing your anxiety. If this is something that works for you, you may want to keep gum with you for unexpected situations of distress. It’s an easy, inconspicuous technique that’s handy in public places.
7) Squeeze a Stress Ball or Aromatherapy Dough
Squeezing a stress ball or using aromatherapy dough can be a grounding and calming exercise. The tactile sensation of squeezing a soft object can release tension in your hands and fingers, and the repetitive action can soothe your nervous system.
How to do it:
Incorporating calming scents into this activity (like lavender or chamomile) can add an extra layer of relaxation. Ready-made aromatherapy doughs are easy to find at various stores across the country.
As calm sets in, it’s time to assess what triggered your distress and how best to face it. Clients often bring these incidents to therapy, where we can explore whether the particular situation relates to broader themes we are working on in therapy. However, in a highly pressured situation, such as giving a presentation at university or running into someone who once bullied you, it’s important to know how to calm down on the spot. That’s where applying learnt emotional regulation skills, like the ones mentioned here, come in.
8) Smell Something Strong: Roses or Coffee
Our sense of smell is directly linked to the brain’s limbic system, which controls emotions. Strong scents, such as the fragrance of roses or lavender can quickly shift your mood and trigger feelings of calm. If you’re in the office, a bit of coffee might be the easiest thing to find.
How to do it:
This simple technique can be an instant mood changer, especially because we also tend to find these smells very pleasant.
9) Tense Your Muscles & Relax While Exhaling
Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups to release stress and tension. This method helps you become more aware of where you hold tension in your body and can help you release it consciously.
How to do it:
This technique can be especially useful if you’re feeling physically tense or if stress is manifesting in your body.
Preparing for Stress with DBT
While these strategies can be incredibly helpful in the moment, they are most effective when practised in advance so you are prepared for unexpected distress. Many of these methods are part of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach that teaches individuals how to manage intense emotions and cope with stress in a healthier way. By learning these techniques ahead of time, you can integrate them into your routine and rely on them when stress inevitably arises.
Distress tolerance techniques like these are one of the four core DBT modules. Each year, my practice offers a 12-week Dialectical Behaviour Therapy programme where participants explore different exercises like these, exchange insights with a small, like-minded group, and put together a “toolbox” of therapeutic skills that can help them navigate pressured situations.
While therapy is a powerful lever for developing insight into our struggles, the DBT programme offers a supportive space for transforming that insight into concrete behavioural change as we journey towards healing. If you dream of calmer days, more connected relationships, a greater sense of peace and understanding, DBT could offer you the space and skills for this growth to take place.
